Fell Out

When I was 12 years old, my biggest concern in life was being really good at basketball so I could dominate in YMCA youth leagues.

Now I need to think about finishing a Master's degree in experimental psychology, getting a job after said degree is completed, considering long-term goals for career and employment, paying bills in the midst of all of this, and staying sane in all of it. Oh and there's the desire to start a family, but that seems so ancillary to all of this that it's hard to prioritize (or to want to prioritize) for that. In the meantime, I miss my own family.

I wish I was still 12 years old.

Ellensburg Christmas

Twas the night before Christmas,

Ellensburg was the town,

Joe and Brian went a walkin',

To see who's around.

Albertson's, Safeway, even Fred Meyer,

No place was too far for these two to aspire,

But, lo! Nothing's open, and the night is so still,

Central Washington's snowy ice roads lend a chill.

So after they trudged through the snow and the rain,

They came upon Ellensburg's Christmas fox, hey!

Walk around campus, jiggle the handles,

Twas' too very dark to see without candles!

But then did the Joe and the Brian avast,

It was time to walk home, to walk home at last,

And merry they trudged through the sleet and the snow,

Merry Christmas from Ellensburg, um... ho ho ho?

Finals week(s) craziness - the end is just the beginning

Finals week technically ended on Friday. But students are still taking make-up tests and turning in make-up work. All of the final test keys were screwed up so all the data results from all the tests are now inaccurate. And the new trimester begins in 8 hours. I will be up all night finishing a set of essays I wanted to finish yesterday so I can have final grades mostly done and posted by Monday, and tonight I am also preparing all my new seating charts, syllabi, and planning out the new trimester.

But... a new 7-11 just opened within walking distance from my

apartment. Bring it on, Red Bull.

December 17th, the first day of winter break, cannot come soon enough.

Also, this make me happy:

Finals week(s) craziness - the faces of finals week(s)

Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile

Sent via blogger via hell.

Finals week(s) craziness: the insanity continues

To do:

- 10-15 page paper, due tomorrow (12/1)

- Exam for Behavioral Interventions (12/1)

- Exam for Design and Analysis (12/2)

- Exam for Tests & Measurements (12/3)

- Final Exam for Tests & Measurements (12/6)

- Final draft of research proposal paper (8-15 pages) (12/8)

- Peer reviews for final research proposals (12/10)

And that's just school stuff... add into all of that working every M-F morning from 5AM to 7:45AM.

Finals week(s) craziness - stress will mess with your emotions

Trying to relax after another large batch of papers, I watched a computer-generated owl get murdered and plummet to its demise, and I nearly teared up a bit. Stress will mess up your emotions.

Bye, bye, Hedwig!

Finals week(s) craziness - trying to sleep

I graded papers all night, so I was both furious and exhausted, but I had so many cups of coffee that while I was mentally and physically exhausted, my heart was beating too fast and frenetically to allow me to sleep so I watched some "Community" and "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia" to calm down, and I thought the best thing to combine with caffeine was some coffee-flavored beer, and I opted for one of my favorites from one of my favorite breweries: Great Divide Imperial Stout (Great Divide actually has some oak-aged stouts and porters and they have some coffee infused and chocolate infused stouts, but this was the normal imperial stout, unfortunately).

Needless to say, I am both groggy and relaxed at 2:17PST AM. BUT --- the impetus for this post was to admit a COLOSSAL failure on my part. This is a failure that has affected my life for YEARS.

I was watching "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia" episode 608 'The Gang Gets a New Member,' and while it featured one of my favorite SNL cast members from the current cast, Jason Sudeikis, it ALSO featured one of my favorite Star Trek veterans.

And herein lies my embarrassing failure: when I saw the actor playing Dee's old high school drama teacher Dr. Meyers, I immediately thought to myself "It's Odo! - It's Armin Shimerman!"

Odo, as of course you know, was the head of security on the Deep Space Nine space station in "Star Trek: Deep Space Nine," and he was a testy but lovable member of the shapeshifting species "The Founders." I had this EXACT same thought when I saw Mr. Shimerman appear in several episodes of "Frasier" back in season season 8 as Frasier Crane's old psychology professor to whom Frasier turned for guidance while he was unemployed and searching for a purpose for his life.

But, dammit all, it hit me when I saw the credits for "It's Always Sunny": the actor who played Quark on "Deep Space Nine" and "The Next Generation" (and Letek and DaiMon in earlier episodes of "The Next Generation") was Armin Shimerman.

The name of the actor who played Odo, Dr. Meyers, and Professor Tewksberry is Rene Auberjonois.

Even though I knew the actor who played everyone's favorite Ferengi is Armin Shimerman, I had ALSO been incorrectly identifying everyone's favorite Founder as Armin Shimerman for nearly 10 years. This is quite embarrassing, and I couldn't sleep without confessing my errors and trying to find redemption by doing this publicly via The Boring Things.

*All spelling and formatting errors can be addressed to Great Divide Brewing Co., 2201 Arapahoe St. Denver, CO 80205*

Happy Thanksgiving

Give thanks. 'N stuff.

Finals week(s) craziness - weather

Washington has been hit with crazy weather. Snow, ice, and wind. My power is out and I'm freezing my ass off whilst still grading papers.

How to stay warm? DRINKING. Goodnight. Brrrrrr.
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile

Finals week(s) craziness: non-functional spam

The only thing more annoying than spam is non-functional spam.

Like when you get the email from "site.admin@happyvrze.co.ch" that is just a plain text email that says something like

".the dryer, very. bxzqx"

If you're going to spam me at least have the decency to offer to cure my ED or the opportunity to buy "real Canada pharmacy meds".

Finals week(s) craziness - making money

Sometimes, when grading essays or when I scan the glazed looks in the eye of the unmotivated masses, I consider just how much money I could make writing essays and accepting bribes. Just a thought.

Finals week(s) craziness - bunny dong

I wouldn't approve this poster for a children's film, but I guess that's how low standards have become in today's society.

Finals week(s) craziness

This is the final week of my current college course for my masters degree. This upcoming week is also the final week of the trimester before the actual finals week of the trimester right after Thanksgiving. Then I'll only have 1.5 weeks to conduct lessons and instruction before Christmas break. The week before Christmas is also my next finals week for my November/December masters course.

There will be a lot of horrible thoughts and moments of anger and frustration and craziness and paranoia and self-loathing and even a little randiness all working their way through my system over the next 3-4 weeks.

George is ALSO finishing up work for his masters degree courses in the next few weeks.

The Boring Things will be hopping in the next few weeks - but in the worst/best ways.

Let the floodgates open.

Let me lead the charge with tonight's worst thought:

I am awful. This paper that I'm writing is utter crap - I am spewing the "edu-bile" I know my instructor wanted to see and doing so while incorporating a few random, relevant-sounding quotes from the textbooks. I don't believe what I'm writing, nor do I ever plan to actually incorporate these ideas into my classroom. I know I've done this for 4.5 years of college course work, but since I'm doing it now, after three years of teaching and studying teaching, I just feel like it is even more soul-crushing and for each and every paper I write, which I find boring and impractical, a little piece of me dies inside.

Eating Well on A Budget

Pork chop from Safeway's clearance meat: $1

Garlic bread: 50¢

Mashed potatoes: about 75¢ worth of ingredients

Total cost for delicious pork chop dinner: $2.25

Boom.

26 minutes 'til class

Not enough time to do any serious paper-writing. Not enough time to get a decent nap.

Just enough time to post this, and eat two cookies.

I tried to post this to David Bentler's Facebook wall, but Facebook said it was too long. I will not be denied.

OH MY GOSH I SO WANT TO COME TO SEATTLE AND WATCH SOCCER WITH YOU AND JOEL AND BJ ON SUNDAY NIGHT. CAN I DO THIS, PLEASE? WILL THIS HAPPEN? WILL IT BE POSSIBLE? DO YOU TYPE HARDER WHEN CAPS LOCK IS ON FOR EXTRA EMPHASIS, EVEN THOUGH THIS EXTRA EMPHASIS ONLY SHOWS UP IN MY EMOTIONAL STATE AS I TYPE AND HOW THIS MAKES ME FEEL BETTER? OH GOD WHAT HAVE I DONE? PLEASE HELP ME AND MY SHITTY CAR MAKE IT TO SEATTLE FOR SUNDAY'S SOCCER. BUT ONLY IF Joel Slagle IS THERE. I LOVE THAT MAN ALMOST AS MUCH AS YOU. MAYBE JUST AS MUCH. MAYBE JUST A LITTLE LESS. CAN YOU FIND ANY TYPOS IN THIS MESSAGE? NO? THAT'S BECAUSE I HAVE SPELL CHECK BUILT INTO MY BROWSER. TYPING IS REALLY HARD RIGHT NOW. I AM DOING THIS BECAUSE THERE ARE SEVERAL PEOPLE I WANT TO CALL/TEXT/MESSAGE RIGHT NOW BUT IF I DID I WOULD SAY THINGS THAT WOULD PERMANENTLY DAMAGE MY RELATIONSHIP WITH THEM AND WOULD REVEAL THE ELEMENTS OF LUCIFER THAT RESIDE IN THE DARK FOLDS OF MY SOUL. OH TO BE AN OPEN AND HONEST EXTROVERT. THE BOWELS OF PASSION RING OUT YET THEY RING HOLLOW AND DRY. THERE IS A CRACK IN MY LOVE BELL THAT WILL NEVER BE FIXED. IT'S ALWAYS SUNNY IN PHILADELPHIA AND LOUIS C.K. ARE HILARIOUS. I HAVE PEOPLE WHO WANT TO MEET YOU AND SPEND OODLES AND OODLES OF TIME WITH YOU. I WANT OODLES OF YOUR TIME. DO YOU THINK ANYONE WILL EVER READ THIS? BILL MURRAY IS AN AMERICAN TREASURE. EVERY TIME I THINK I'M DONE I THINK OF SOMETHING NEW TO SAY. HOW WILL THIS SHOW UP ON YOUR iPHONE? OH MY GOSH WHAT ARE YOU DOING ON BLACK FRIDAY? I WAS THINKING ABOUT THIS AS SOON AS THE CALENDAR HIT NOVEMBER AND I COULDN'T THINK OF ANYONE I'D RATHER WAIT IN LINE WITH AT 3AM THAN YOU. ANY PLANS? I SPENT $200 ON MOVIE POSTERS AND $100 ON MOVIES THIS WEEK, SO I WON'T BE DOING ANY SHOPPING ON BLACK FRIDAY, BUT I LOVE THE EXPERIENCE.

A Laminar Excursion

Video starring Pringles, Bullards, a Dielman, and Unknown Bystanders.

Enjoy.

TODAY .... 10/22/2010 @ 10:49 AM

I turned in a paper for my Tests & Measurements class. I started it last night, finished it in about 3 hours, did some final re-editing today, and... I'm really happy with how it came out. Usually I'm not quite so comfortable with the quality of my last-minute papers and end up getting awesome grades on them. This time I'm feeling very comfortable with the quality of this last-minute paper, so hopefully that doesn't mean that I'll get a bad grade on it.

I rewarded myself with an expired Go Cola (Safeway's generic brand).

Uncle Typography

With the recent (very exciting) news that I will be an Uncle to a child in May 2011, I feel that I must analyze (based on my own Uncle experiences) the various types of Uncles that I could become.

The Distant Uncle

The Distant Uncle is the uncle that, by mere separation of time and space, does not get to know the nephew/niece very well. This Uncle is usually a likable guy, clever, and is overall well-liked by his entire family. Due to a usually-large difference between this uncle and his nephew/nieces' families' lifestyles, socio-economic status, and (again) time/space separations, the nephew/niece usually won't get to know this Uncle very well, but will nonetheless like him.

The Alpha-Male Uncle

The Alpha-Male Uncle is the one that is usually fun to be around, and sometimes intolerable to be around. Alpha-Male Uncle likes to hang out with the kids, play games/sports with them, take them out to eat or for ice cream, and in general spend time with the kids without trying to be a "cool guy." All is not necessarily perfect about this Uncle type: on occasion, when this Uncle is hanging out with the kids playing games/sports or what have you, he will forget that he is actually just hanging out with his young nephews and nieces, and become overly competitive and/or aggressive with them. This usually results in a feeling of betrayal by the nephew/niece, who was previously wooed by the Uncle's grand gestures of affection.

While the Alpha-Male Uncle usually remains popular throughout the niece/nephew's childhood, he is usually eventually regarded with a friendly cautiousness by said niece/nephew as they get older and learn to recognize Alpha-Male Uncle's pros and cons.

The "Relatable" Uncle

The "Relatable" Uncle is the one who really REALLY wants his nephews and nieces to like him, but goes about trying to earn this in all the wrong ways. Usually "Relatable" Uncle tries to stay up on what's "hip" or "cool" in the child's life, and will often make comments from the "Kid's Perspective" to show just how cool and "in" he is with his nephews/nieces.

Unfortunately, "Relatable" Uncle's glory days typically end when the kid is about 8 years old and realizes that "Relatable" Uncle is super-lame. "Relatable" Uncle earns no respect from his nieces and nephews, and unfortunately becomes something of a pariah of the Uncle World.

The Well-Balanced Uncle

The Well-Balanced Uncle is the uncle that every uncle should try to be. He is just doting and likable enough to buy his nieces/nephews' love, but is just ambivalent enough towards them to make them realize that he is an adult, and they are children. The Well-Balanced Uncle is the most likely to be kept in contact once the niece/nephew grows up, because he is regarded simply as a friend who happens to be related to the nephew/niece, and therefore can be relied-upon due to his family ties. Of all of the Uncle Types, this is the one who is LEAST likely to become nothing more than an artifact of the nephew/niece's childhood.

The Wild Card Uncle

This is the guy who you call "Uncle So-and-So", but when you're a kid you're never quite certain exactly HOW he is your Uncle, as he doesn't seem to be the sibling of either of your parents. When you grow up, you usually come to realize that "Uncle So-and-So" is in fact your PARENT's uncle (ie the sibling of your grandparents) and therefore is actually your great-uncle. Wild Card Uncle is usually likable enough, but also relatedly-distant enough that his consideration of you is diminished to the point of being unlikely to see this uncle or keep in contact with him much as you get older.

So what kind of Uncle will I become? I don't know, but consideration of the above categories is convincing enough to make me want to be aware and conscientious of what kind of an Uncle I will become.

Janitorium

- Is it really that hard to wrap gum in a piece of paper before throwing it away?

- I get not walking all the way to the recycle bin to throw your bottles/cans away in it instead of the trash can: people are in a hurry, etc., etc. However, when you throw your bottles/cans away in the trash can that is right next to the recycle bin, you are an ass.

- With the above two things said, it really is nice/refreshing how clean/conscientious the students and teachers that use my building are in general.

Stay in school, kids...

So I finally got a job. I am now a "Student Custodial Assistant". I work from 5AM to 7:45AM M-F.

Pros: easy, surprisingly satisfying, has corrected my formerly-vampiric sleeping schedule, and it's a job. Also, getting to sport the Heroic Janitor look every morning:

Heroic Janitor is Heroic

Cons: getting up early (which, as mentioned above, is also a pro).

Overall, very very happy about this.

Some random boring summer musings to celebrate the beginning of fall...

· Sometimes, I feel like murdering...

o Baristas who make you repeat your order more than once

o Slow drivers in the left lane (and all bad drivers)

o Reality TV fans who treat reality TV as if it matters

o Facebook and Twitter users who are overly positive

o Faux-hippie urban hipsters

o Guys who say "stoked" or "brah"

o People who type and write in "Internet/chat speak"

o People who go to sporting events but don't care about what's happening in the game

o Referees and umpires who make bad calls

o People who misuse the expressions "That's ironic" and "What a coincidence"

o 99% of retail employees who are unhelpful, lack knowledge about their store and products, and are rude

o People who quote pithy quotes and Bible verses thinking that they're being smart or inspiring

o The majority of Yankees and Red Sox fans

o Extreme political and/or religious ideologues and zealots

o Loud, annoying, and obnoxious children

o People who espouse uneducated opinions with which I vehemently disagree

· Places I never want to visit:

o Florida

o Inhabited towns/cities in Texas

o Alabama

o West Virginia

o Arkansas

o North and South Dakota

o Detroit

o Cleveland

o New Jersey

· Censored embarrassing and horrible thoughts I had, but would never admit to another person:

o _________s really are terrible drivers...and other such stereotypes which are true...

o I wonder what it feels like to ________ a person...

o Why are they still alive? What value do they get from living?

o I wonder how I can steal that and sell it without getting caught...

o I wonder what would happen if I rammed into a tree at about 125mph...

o I'd ___ that.

o I'd ___ that after a few drinks.

o I'd never ___ that regardless of how many drinks I had.

o I wonder who would be the best friend to ask to help me rob ____________.

o There should be an age at which people aren't allowed to ever leave their homes again.

o He/she will have at least a few unplanned children and become drains upon the social welfare net

Three for Three

Booyah. Apparently I'm not the only one who thinks that Breaking Bad is the best drama series on TV today, and that Bryan Cranston's Walter White is one of the best (and best-acted) characters in television.

Three seasons of Breaking Bad, and three Best Actor in a Drama Emmys for Bryan Cranston. And this year his co-star Aaron Paul got a well-deserved best supporting actor Emmy as well.

An Overwhelmingly Positive Experience

This morning (Sunday, August 29th), Chris, Brian, and I went to the First United Methodist Church of Ellensburg. We came in on the basis of the church's sign about that week's sermon: "Jesus' Rules for Partying".

From our first footsteps in the church to the time that we left, we were greeted and welcomed in a way which, to me, seemed a perfect example of what Christ's church on Earth should look like.

The service was a beautiful mesh of the old and the new in the Christian church. We sang a few brief choruses first, and then several hymns, of which I was surprised to find myself actually led to sing along out loud. Even more surprising, Chris and Brian also joined in the singing of the hymns.

The entire atmosphere of the church had somehow uniquely captured both high reverence within the liturgical atmosphere (which included The Lord's Prayer, Doxology, and taking of Communion) and a spirit of the overwhelming love of Christ's Body on Earth, the Church.

We were informed, when the church lined up to receive Communion, that we didn't need to be members of this church in order to partake in their Communion, that all Christians were part of the body and therefore always welcome to partake of Communion in this church. Chris and Brian (naturally) politely declined, but I got in line and took part in the sacrament. This is perhaps the only church where I have felt comfortable, as a first-time visitor, taking parting in Holy Communion.

The pastor, one Ms. Shalom Agtarap, preached a beautiful sermon on Jesus' teachings about inviting the poor and the destitute in sit in the "best places" at dinner. A lesson, not heard often enough, about how as Christians our first duty is to be like Jesus Christ, and that one of His major emphases was "doing unto the least of these."

All three of us came out with an overwhelmingly positive regard for this church, Brian proclaiming "What an uplifting experience that was!" I came out feeling that I had truly participated in a celebration of my Christianity, and felt completely "at home" in this body of Christ.

This was a rare occasion where the church service seemed not to suck the life out of me, but to inject new life into me. We will certainly be returning.

"Seinfeld" moment: My George Costanza wallet

George Costanza had a giant wallet that gave him back pain because he kept everything. I similarly have a painfully packed wallet, though I claim that all its contents are essential. This behemoth fell in the Yakima River yesterday, thus here are its contents all splayed out on a paper towel drying.

On the Hunt

I hate this economy. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate that I have to compete with dozens of other people for a job here in Ellensburg. A job that isn't even that great. I hate that employers seem to take this opportunity to be lazy about getting back to people. "They're desperate, they can wait."

Out of the countless applications and resumes I've turned in, I've yielded two interviews, with two promises to call me by a certain date ("At the latest.") Both of those promises were not kept.

Now, I've got another interview. On Wednesday. The clearly-didn't-care recruitment representative of this noble unnamed institution informed me that it would be a "group interview." Oh... for one job? Fun.

Time to turn on the charm, spruce up the face, stash away the dignity and get ready to rumble.

I hate this economy.

Beard to Chops

So, in the hope that I will at some point have interviews which will lead to a job, I have converted the beard to chops.

Before:

After:

Better, worse, or no difference?

Tiny Victory

This morning I went to Safeway armed with a $1 off coupon for a 15 ounce tub of butter-like spread. It was urgently needed, as Chris was making waffles this morning.

Upon finding the appropriate aisle, I found that the spread was actually on sale for 99¢. I took it to the cashier, who struggled to figure out what to do about the Free Butter Mystery. She eventually called her manager, who came over and pushed some buttons, rendering my butter free.

Actually, better than free. The cash register told her that because the price was 99¢ and I had handed her a $1 off coupon, that she owed me 1¢. I dutifully took the penny, and returned home triumphantly, bearing both free butter and 1¢.

A grand morning of one-cent Win. The waffles were delicious as well.

"Seinfeld" moment: running on 'E'

Something about having time off for the summer makes me careless about getting gas. I think it's because I drive so seldom I need to fill up so seldom, and when I do drive it's only 10-15 minutes here and there. Thus, I have found myself on 'E' with the gaslight coming on, and I have now had several opportunities to see just how far I can go at this level of fuel without completely running out. I have found that I can go at least 25 miles with this fuel level, and while I'd like to find out the real limit, I am not brave or stupid enough for this.

This reminds me of "Seinfeld" season 9 episode 11 in which Kramer is test driving a car (for Jerry) and he takes the car and the salesperson on a zany ride in which they see how far below 'E' they can take this car.

"Seinfeld" Moments

To this day, "Seinfeld" remains at or near the pinnacle of television irreverence. The show perfectly encapsulated the pointlessness and frustrations and humor of life's daily minutiae, while at the same time making brilliant commentary about American life and how this minutiae means so much and makes up the identity of so many blind and ignorant people.

The show reflects perfectly upon the last 20 years of American day-to-day life. And because of this, my daily life is filled with what I often identify as "Seinfeld" moments. These are moments and events which reflect a moment, joke, or event from the TV show, but exist as a reflection upon a frustratingly stupid and yet funny aspect of ordinary minute-to-minute human existence in modern America.

Example: The neighbor below my apartment has his bathroom fan running almost 24/7. Why? Who knows...But the point it, this is loud and annoying when I want some quiet time or am trying to go to sleep and am extra sensitive to noise. Thus, my mind immediately recalls "Seinfeld" episode season 9, episode 7, in which Elaine's neighbor goes on vacation but their alarm clock continues to go off, so Elaine tries to short out the circuit next door to make the clock stop.

Thus, what I term a "Seinfeld" moment.

So, today begins a new and never-ending series of "Seinfeld" moments from day-to-day life. Sometimes the connection will be strong and relevant and relatable, while other times it will be a personal linkage I have because "Seinfeld" has left such an indelible mark upon the depths of my psyche.

"Seinfeld" moment: tipping the cashier

I went to a burrito shop today for lunch and paid with cash. However, when handing me my change back, the cashier immediately turned around to fix something for the next order. But, as I do at most coffee shops, cafes, and smaller establishments with a tip jar, I try and put a $1 in. But what good is a tip like this if the cashier doesn't SEE you thanking them and rewarding them in this fashion? This is a common grievance I have, and this event is highlighted by George Costanza's similar desire in "Seinfeld" season 7 episode 20 when George buys a calzone and tips the cashier, but the cashier doesn't notice so George pulls out his tip to place it in the jar when someone is looking, and of course this action is rewarded with the accusation of stealing from the tip jar and he is forever banned from the calzone shop.

I am now hungry for a calzone...Oh so many moments of my food-life are connected to "Seinfeld" food references...This is going to be a long, constant, meandering, and most importantly very pointless series on The Boring Things!

Upcoming The Boring Things posts to look forward to:

-"People I want to murder"

-"Places I never want to visit"

-"Stories about objects in my apartment"

-"Embarrassing and horrible thoughts I had, but would never admit to another person"

The Miracle of Overalls

So. Comfortable. The end.

TODAY... 7/1/10 @ 4:45pm

I was stuck in traffic from Northgate all the way down to Tukwila on I-5 south from 3:00 until 4:30, and I had at least another 90 minutes of traffic/driving to get home. So I had the brilliant idea of getting off the highway, seeing a movie, and then driving home.

I paid $13.75 for the movie ticket, and then $12.75 for the soda and popcorn. The movie was excellent. I laughed. I cried. I did not clap (because that's damn foolishness).

Then I left, got back on I-5, and laughed maniacally at the the lack of traffic, thinking I had won. Then I hit more traffic, and it took me over an hour to get home.

AMC theaters, Disney, Coca-Cola, and BP all won. Their rapacious prices, coupled with the state of Washington's lousy freeways and construction projects, ruined the second half of my Thursday.

The (important) Civil War

I've been running 6-10 laps per day for about 4 weeks. It sucks. But I do feel good about the fact that it is happening and making a small impact, both actual as well as mental.

But the hardest part hasn't been the discipline to run - I can do that morning, noon, or night, and sometimes I have twice a day just because I have the time and get bored and know that it's a good thing, even though I dislike it for the most part.

The hardest part is the brain vs. body battle that takes place the rest of the day. What to eat, when to eat, what to drink, when to drink...It's a fight between the stomach telling me what I used to enjoy, what I should put into it, what I want to eat at that moment, and my brain telling me what's in the house, what would be best for me, what the possible consequences are of each choice, and the practicality of the situation at that moment. Then, there is the physiological situation of leg pains, back pains, and general exhaustion to consider. The best way I've found to win this battle is to eat less, eat better, only buy decent food even if I hate it because I know I'll eat it and be too lazy to go out and get something I'd like better, and sometimes to run before I eat and feeling too sick and tired afterward to eat anything at all.

But, yesterday I had a fish sandwich for lunch. With fries. And I flipping devoured those fries. And the fish sandwich, but slowly and enjoyably. And I had a beer with this lunch. Just one. A light one. And I did run in the morning, but only 6 laps, so I knew I'd be running that night to punish myself for falling off the wagon, and that this lunch would fill me up for the rest of the day (even if it didn't - but it did and I highly recommend the West Seattle Brewing Company). And I planned to run one extra lap to make up for the beer which I've been avoiding, so the "I don't want to barf on the track at the school where I work" factor also played a role in not eating too much.

But on the way back to the car from the restaurant, the friend I was with kindly thought of his wife and stopped in to Cupcake Royale to bring her home a treat. And that sounded pretty damn delicious (I had a few Oreos about 3 weeks ago and 2 beers since, so I was ready for some freaking refined sugar). But I thought it was my lucky day until I saw the limited selection with no flavors that sounded good. Until, upon my last passing glance, I saw the Coconut Lime cupcake with coconut flakes on top. That cupcake can go to hell for existing and tempting me, but hot damn I bought it in a flash (while making sure to point out to my friend it was his fault).

So I took it in a to-go box, because cupcakes are messy and I was full from lunch. But it was going to be mine that night. I looked at it several times before putting it on the shelf in the pantry when I got home in the evening. I spent a long time deliberating what to have for dinner, but was tired from a LONG day sitting in Seattle traffic and accomplishing nothing, so I laid down for a nap. When I got up, my back hurt, I took a few ibuprofen, and since I did this, I figured it was the best time to go running because the ibuprofen would also help with my shin splints (FYI if you are overweight just running 6-10 laps everyday without any other exercise will kill your shins). So I went. It was a great summer evening, my legs felt okay, and I got a full 9 laps in and felt good. I came home. And of course, my appetite was mostly gone. Except when I considered a small snack, I checked the pantry and there staring at my cute and adorable and lovable face was Mr. Coconut Lime, tempting my fat ass to eat the crap out of him. And the battle was once again afoot.

But the brain won. Wednesday I bought a palate of fuji apples because I went to Costco for gas and of course just HAD to go inside and buy something, and obviously my brain was winning the battle when I decided to buy apples as well. I remembered the apples while staring at the cupcake and cut up two (because if I'm substituting fruit for dessert food then I'm sure as hell not going to eat just one) and ate them while watching TV, having cut them up into thin slices so it seemed like I was eating more and they lasted longer that way.

A small victory.

And then today, I had coffee, an apple, and few chips with salsa, and that was it. And then I ran. And when I got home tonight after 12 laps, I rationalized the extra laps and gave in and opened the cupcake container. But instead of shoving that magnificent spectacle into my mouth in a single bite like I wanted, I began picking at it. And about half-way through, I realized that it was great, and I could finish it, but I would feel better (and probably actually be better) for stopping. The remaining half of the cupcake now resides in the kitchen trash.

All of this is to say that I feel as if my brain and body have reached an acceptable détente in their war with each other. They still hate each other just as the Confederacy still resents its loss to the Union, but each side is willing to give and take a little, as long as the body keeps up its part of the bargain and stays in the lead, with the conditions of the treaty being: run, run like hell, and run even more when the mind gives in a little and I make a mistake or two or decide to take a night off and go to a party.

The war rages on, but it feels like a minor victory has been won as my brain and body enter this uneasy period of "perestroika."

Behold! A pale horse.

Lately I've been enjoying the book of Revelation. Everything in this book is so visceral. I like to read a bit, and then try to envision what was just described. So much description. So artfully-written.

It occurs to me that this would make for a great movie, given that it was made by a professional (ie not a "Christian" production company).

I think Sam Raimi or Ridley Scott could make a masterpiece of it given good screenwriting. Michel Gondry would probably make a great artistic interpretation...

Endangered species

If a species is endangered, but it doesn't serve a vital function beyond existing as a unique subset of the animal kingdom and as a piece of creation which will forever be gone from this planet when extinct, then WHY try to save it? Whales eat fish and seals, and keep the oceans under control* - save them. Salmon are delicious - save them. Gray wolves keep elk populations under control - save them. Pandas look cute and inspire stuffed animals and animated films - why save them? According to the World Wildlife Foundation, "The survival of the panda and the protection of its habitat will ensure that people living in the region continue to reap ecosystem benefits for many generations." So, to answer the question, NO ONE HAS A GOOD ANSWER AS TO WHY PANDA SURVIVAL MATTERS.

There is something sad and tragic about the idea of extinction - of any sort - but at a certain point, you need to be able to articulate the overall WHY behind such a cause, and if that isn't possible, then perhaps an activist or a biologist might be better served fighting for a cause with an actual purpose.


*How do whales keep the oceans "under control," you may ask? Like this.

TODAY... 05/21/10 @ 7:35AM

I realized that Mt. Dew "Typhoon" just may be the winner in our United States of Dewmocracy.

Then I told a dirty joke.

... but I whispered it so that nobody else could hear.

...but then I realized that there wasn't anyone there to hear it anyways!

... and then I said, "Hey, today's Friday! Awesome!" and then I fell asleep.

EDIT: Just kidding! I'm actually awake. Wide awake.

Today... 5/12 @ 8:01pm

I thought about watching last night's "Lost," but decided to go for a jog instead. But I had a piece of string cheese about an hour earlier. This was a mistake. But I'm glad I didn't watch "Lost." That show seriously blows. I'm going to sleep now and will get up at 11 to finish the rest of my work.

YOU decide!

Psychotic break or awesome music video? YOU decide!

Day 4: San Francisco Part 3

Finished. Now on plane home. This morning checked out the Berkeley U of California campus and little hippie college town and can't say I was impressed, but it certainly had that great vibe good college towns/neighborhoods seem to have. Then spent the rest of the day finishing up my San Francisco excursion with breakfast in the Mission district at famous bakery called "Tartine." It was delicious. I got in last minute on the tour of the Anchor Brewery which was cool, and their summer beer, regular amber, and barleywine ales were all especially delicious. This was near Portrero Hill so I did some more walking and got some pics of the city from yet another angle. I then grabbed some authentic Mexican cuisine from a little hole-in-the-wall taquiera, and it was tasty. I wanted to try some more unique beer and see if I couldn't snag some specialty stuff to ship home with my checked luggage so I headed to the east side of downtown featuring the industrial district and the Giants' stadium AT&T Park to a place I heard of called City Beer. Much like Seattle's Bottleworks they have specialty beer for sale and a few selections on tap. I had a triple-aged Belgian from Agahash Brewing and loved it. Some golden, light, farmhouse-style Belgians have too little flavor or complexity but this had it all, plus some definite ABV value, so it was a sipper. I concluded the day and the trip with a walk down to the east side of the waterfront to see AT&T and the Bay Bridge.

Overall vacation grade: HELL YES A+ I COULD DO THIS AGAIN RIGHT NOW!
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Day 3: San Francisco Part 2

Woke up late after pressing the "cancel" button on phone instead of the "snooze." This is why I set 2 alarms at home, and I will be doing this for tomorrow AM. First thing today was my search for the correct bus/tram to take me to the Haight-Ashbury district. I ended up walking most of the way, which was fine except I ended up in the Castro district instead due to my apparent inability to read street signs. Cool little neighborhood, but not "gay" enough. If pop culture is going to characterize a city and neighborhood as gay, then I expect it to be flamingly flamboyant. Since this was on my list of stops anyway, I was able to walk easily (not counting the difficulty of the hike itself) up to the top of Buena Vista Park. Then I found a really sweet little specialty beer shop with an awesome owner and found a few good brews unavailable in WA. Wish I had a larger wallet and larger backpack to bring more home. I then soaked in and loathed the modern hippie culture of Haight-Ashbury while enjoying some beer and cheese and small but creative micro-brewery and then hitched a ride on a bus out to the coast past Golden Gate Park with it's pretty gardens and odd giant windmill. Hike up coast a few miles to see the Golden Gate from the west side, and then found a bus to take me over to Hayes St. featuring Alamo Square, the painted ladies, and some nice little cafes. End evening with a walk downtown to train back to Oakland where it was cool to see City Hall and the civic plaza all lit up (speaking of "lit up," this entire city reeks of marijuana and will give you a contact high anywhere, anytime). I am writing this on the train back to the hotel, so if you don't see a part 4 by Friday, I am probably dead!
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Day 2: San Francisco Part 1

Got off the train in downtown San Fran at waterfront, walked along waterfront then hiked up hills to Coit Tower, searched unsuccessfully for parrots on Telegraph Hill, continued along waterfront until end of attractions (like the sealions) and tried to take a trollley car to downtown but it broke down. The I walked through China Town, the Russian Hill neighborhood, ate oysters, then saw City Hall, then walked through shopping clustercuss of Union Square, met Mariners pitcher Ryan Roland Smith, then took bus over to Lombard Street to walk up winding road, then went back to waterfront and walked all along the water until reaching Golden Gate Bridge. Enjoyed some closing beers at bar then sourdough breadbowl of clam chowder at Boudin's. Sketchy tram and train rides back to hotel in Oakland.
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Day 1: Oakland

Visited downtown Oakland and some of its surrounding little neighborhoods and ended day with a Mariners victory. Trip is already a resounding success. 4:30am wakeup to get to San Francisco first thing in the morning.
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