Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Some Friendly Tax Tips from the Boring Things in Life


Well, tax day is just around the corner (tomorrow!) and so, if you haven't done your taxes yet, here are a few friendly tips from The Boring Things in Life:

Q: "I work a part-time job at McDonald's and give 10% of my monthly income to charity. Where do I put those charitable donations?"
A: You don't. You work part-time at McDonald's. Your standard deduction is larger than any itemized deduction you could come up with, I guarantee it."

Q: "I want to get my taxes done at the H&R Block in Wal-Mart, is that a reliable service?"
A: The "experts" at H&R Block in Wal-Mart have studied taxes for about as long as you have. They are hired en masse in time for tax season. Don't waste your money.

Q: "I bought a case of Baconnaise in early 2008 for $120. Can I deduct this as a business asset that reduces in value?"
A: The value of Baconnaise unfortunately drops from $6/bottle to $0/bottle as soon as you've tasted it. Sounds like a one-time $120 business deduction to me!

Q: "I have a home-based business where I copy DVDs from Blockbuster and sell them to students on my dorm floor at a profit. Can I deduct the DVD rentals and DVD-R costs as business expenses?"
A: It is advisable to keep this business as hush-hush as possible: sending a list of your illegal business expenses to the IRS does not qualify as hush-hush.

Q: "I owe several thousand dollars in back taxes. It wasn't my fault though, I just couldn't figure out how to calculate my taxes and, as a millionaire, I cannot afford a decent accountant. What should I do?"
A: Congratulations! You may qualify for a spot on President Obama's cabinet! Please send your resume to:   The White House, c/o President Barack Obama, 1600 Pennsylvania Ave NW, Washington, D.C. 20500.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Mr. Pringle (non-M.B.A. non-C.B.A.)

I am a teacher. I spent about $30 on Kleenex, notebook paper, and pens for my classroom in September. I said on my taxes that as a teacher, I spent about $150 on classroom expenses.

Can you explain this to me?

Joe said...

Mr. Pinneo,

As an almost totally-unqualified tax expert, I should inform you that what you have done is most commonly known as "undetectable tax fraud." Assuming you have not brought this question to an IRS or other Federal law-enforcement agent, your deduction of $150 is perfectly acceptable, and, as you may know, carries a $120 advantage over what we would call the "factual deduction."

My only question to you would be: why did you only deduct $150? Assuming that you have not kept receipts, why did you not say that you spent $250 on classroom supplies? This would have been a much better deduction on your taxes than $150, and still falls under "small enough not to investigate" status.

Anonymous said...

I believe it is IRS code 23.A.895 which states "Play it safe."