So, after working for 8 hours today the Christian bookstore, there are a few things I would like to comment on/point out/criticize/etc.1. There are way too many "The So-and-So Bible"s out there. The latest? Get ready: "The American Patriot's Bible". I kid you not. What's next? "The Fast Food Worker's Bible: Inspired Help for Greasy Fingers". Of course, this will eventually lead to specialty Bibles WITHIN this Bible, such as the "Fast Food Workers Bible: McDonald's Edition (en Español!)". I may do a longer post on this later, but this is enough about that for now.
2. The music listening station is a great tool for customers to preview music in the store before they buy it. One problem with the particular system our store uses: it has a "if you like [insert evil secular artist here] then you'll like [insert Christian artist here]." So, if you're holding your own Anne Veal-esque CD-burning party, then you'll need replacements for all your evil music. However, this system will not help you. Here are some actual results from the system:
"If you like Andrew WK then you'll like Dead Poetic."
"If you like Arcade Fire then you'll like Dead Poetic."
"If you like Dashboard Confessional then you'll like Dead Poetic."
"If you like Lovedrug then you'll like Further Seems Forever."
"If you like Pedro the Lion then you'll like Subseven."
"If you like Modest Mouse then you'll like Delirious."
"If you like Radiohead then you'll like Delirious."
If you have not heard any of these bands, then let me just tell you: these comparisons are TERRIBLE. The mere fact that the same band is recommended for Andrew WK, Arcade Fire, and Dashboard Confessional shows a SERIOUS deficit in artist comparison knowledge.
3. Finally, on the bulletin board where local churches/Christian companies are allowed to post ads/flyers, the following flyer was posted (and I quote VERBATIM, including punctuation/capitalization):
"Are you looking for a change?
Why not save money on child care?
Family's are spending their children's
College Money on Child Care.
Average Child Care cost
$10,100.00 a year.
We care for your children's future
You can save now for a
Quality child care!!
Our cost for child care
$7,500 a year
With us you could save significantly a
large amount!
Adding up to $2,600 a year."
The name of this place is "Little Angel's Ark Learning Center."
Yes! I do want to save now for a Quality child care! Yes! I do want to save significantly a large amount! Adding up to $2,600 a year.(!) "Learning Center"??? What, exactly, are children going to learn from a place that cannot even throw together 5 correct sentences?
2 comments:
Oh, I see. Someone decided to recreate the true American patriot's Bible, that belonging to Thomas Jefferson, in which Jefferson painstakingly removed every word spoken by Jesus.
That MUST be what the author and publisher intended by "American Patriot's Bible." I can think of no other way in which to interpret that title or cover. I mean, some might argue that the Bible is full of Republican right-wing commentary showing how controversial passages prove Jesus was against a woman's right to choose and how he hated gays. But me, no, I'm no pessimist or ideological zealot. It must be a faithful recreation of Thomas Jefferson's "no Jesus" Bible.
Alas! Neither is the correct interpretation of what entails an "American Patriot's Bible" (although both would be reasonable expectations). Believe it or not, the vast majority of the Bible material carried at this particular Christian bookstore is pretty apolitical.
Remember, the point is to sell the most products possible. This particular bookstore (obviously, I cannot speak for all Christian bookstores), has people of all political leanings come in and shop, from far-right to far-left, and of course everything in between. Remember, SOMEBODY has to buy Rob Bell's stuff.
Most of these "so-and-so Bibles" (not all though) are basically just a standard NIV Bible with bits and pieces of commentary that is vaguely related to the Bible's title.
As an aside: I love the extreme political nature of the phrase "a woman's right to choose". It so neatly and completely avoids the actual subject at hand (killing that thing growing inside the woman, which, totally in line with modern biology, only magically becomes a human being when exposed to air outside the womb). Wouldn't it be great if we ended every sentence just before we got to the subject?
"Yeah, the other day I went to the,"
"Oh, cool, how was?"
"Oh, you know, I ordered a,"
"Did you get a chance to dance with?",
"No, she was not,"
"Aw man, that's a."
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