Free Craigslist House

That's right! All you need is a piece of property to build on, and YOU could make your VERY OWN FREE Craigslist house.  Here's how it works: using only the items listed on 4/21/09 in the "Free" section of reno.craigslist.org, you can build the home of your dreams.

Let's get started!

1. To build your house's walls, you will need the following free items:

- 1 sheet of drywall

- concrete pieces

- wood and wood

- bricks (these can be used as a "floor", if you prefer)

- railroad ties (more flooring)

- and of course, two Anderson windows to let some light into your humble abode

2. Once your walls are completed, you need to paint them a wide variety of colors.

3. Naturally, the first "room" you'll want to do will be the master bedroom. For this, you will need the following free items:

- a corner desk. This will fill out the corner of the wall where you ran out of bricks.

- a king-sized mattress. You will set this on your classy blue Ford Ranger camper shell as your bed.

4. Next up: a room for your little urchins. Because you are building a Free Craigslist House, you have at least 7 children. As such, you will require:

- a bunk bed mattress.

- two queen size mattresses, two twin size mattresses, and a couch

- a Futon bunk bed. That's right. The best of both worlds.

- in addition, you will probably require baby coupons and a coupon for $2 off Goodnites Sleep Pants for the bed-wetter.

5. Now for the living room. You will want to show your friends how classy you are. Thus you will require:

- a Honda CRX transmission, which you will use your skills to convert to a coffee table.

- a sectional couch, complete with pillows and dog

- a Simons hide-a-bed couch, because you deserve it, and so does anyone who wishes to spend the night at your house.

6. Time for the computer/family room!

- a "very usable" computer desk WITH printer hutch!

- legal file folders. For all those important documents that you don't have.

- and let's not forget the Spirit XT9 treadmill to work off all those generic-brand peanut butter cups!

7. Finally, a "utility room." This room will be a combo laundry room/bathroom/kitchen, because who needs one of each?

- a White Frigidaire Washer. You have to turn it yourself, so after you give your legs a workout on the treadmill, it's time to exercise your upper body AND clean your clothes!

- banquet-size coffee brewers. This is really the only kitchen item you need, because only coffee is important for you to consume.

- a concrete bird bath bowl. BUT you can use it as a sink!

- Because you have 7 children, you will want to save time by bathing them all at once in your six-by-six foot hot tub!

- in the meantime, you and the missus will have "his and hers" 1980 Kohler steel tubs to bathe in!

Congratulations! Your house is finished! Now fill in all the cracks and holes in your floor/walls/ceiling with cardboard and bubble wrap!