I fulfill at least three stupid fashion trends.
It seems that the latest "in" thing for females is to look like aliens who have to walk through the snow and have only one size of pants available (no matter what the size of their legs/butt).
Of course, I'm talking about stupid trends in women's "fashion."
Stupid Trend #1: bug-eye sunglasses. What is the deal with these? I see females all over the UNR campus wearing these things (which doesn't necessarily mean that they're still "in" in the rest of the U.S., as Reno tends to be a few years behind on the latest trends). It's not necessarily a "bad" look. Just a dumb look. These glasses say, "I have no clue how closely these make me resemble an alien from the X-Files." And finally, because this fashion was simply taken from the 60's, it's not like anyone is even being "original" by taking part in it.
OK, when I do this with my lips, NOW do I look like the aliens that took Mulder's sister?
Stupid Trend #2: thick wooly boots, commonly known as "Uggs." In some ways, this trend is even more stupid than Stupid Trend #1. At least with #1, there seems to be a practical purpose to the sunglasses. Wearing thick wooly boots like "Uggs" seems to have no practical purpose unless you live in Alaska or Minnesota. Wearing boots like this says, "My feet are really sweaty and I have no awareness of the weather."
Our feet are really sweaty and we have no awareness of the weather.
Stupid Trend #3: tight jeans. This, of course, seems to be a fairly long-running trend, but lately it's gotten a little out of hand. Certain people look good in tight jeans. Certain people, as in, about 1% of all the people who actually wear them. Wearing tight jeans says, "Maybe if I emphasize how fat my legs and butt are, they'll actually look BETTER."
For the reader's sake, this picture has been uploaded in size SMALL.
And lest you should think I'm being unfair, there are also stupid trends in "men's" (really, "douchebags") fashion. Of course, these have been discussed elsewhere for a long time now, so there's no point in going into most of them (way-too-baggy-pants, huge t-shirts, etc.). However, one stands out as being incredibly, almost-unfathomably stupid:
Stupid Trend #4: New Era 59fifty hats. Everytime I see a kid wearing one of these I want to punch him in the face. It's not that the caps (which are pretty much just standard baseball caps with "urban" designs) are really all that terrible. It's the particular trend that goes along with wearing these caps: keeping the "59fifty" gold sticker on the caps. That's right, the era of removing stickers and tags from our clothes is almost over! Let the tyranny of tagless clothing end! Why, WHY, is it "in" to leave that DUMB gold sticker on these things. I know that the PURPOSE is probably, "Hey, check it out: I've got a 59fifty cap," but the actual message sent is, "Hey, check it out: I forgot/am-too-stupid to take the sticker off my hat after I bought it." Next time I buy a $3 baseball cap from Walgreen's I think I'll just leave the Walgreen's sticker on it. I will be so cool!
Yes, people actually leave these stickers on their caps. And yes, they are huge douchebags.
6 comments:
So, are you, like, totally angry about this? Maybe those girls with the sunglasses are blind? Huh, feel bad now? Maybe those UGG boots cover prosthesis. Huh, feel bad now? Maybe those 59fifty people believe those pillow labels about not removing this tag applies to everything? Maybe those people with the tight jeans have an endocrine disorder that causes sudden growth spurts? It's not that far fetched. One never knows, does one?
If this is the case then we have a lot of blind double-amputees with endocrine disorders on the UNR campus.
This gives me a grand idea for student torture: Removing stickers from the hats of a-holes. This is in addition to purposely scuffing their nice tennis shoes, purposefully crushing the toes of those who use their phones in class on the same day they wear open-toed shoes... This list needs to be further developed and implemented.
Better yet: just carry around round smiley-face stickers and put them on top of the "59fifty" sticker.
Oh, now that's far-fetched. Double amputees? They could be blind people with endocrine disorders, single amputees, who want their shoes to match. One UGG and a flip-flop? Now that's a fashion faux pas.
I personally avoid anyone who has any combination or one single facet of items 1, 2, or 4. Item 3 is, as you say, a possible toss up, as it can do one of two things, invigorating the male spirit, or ruining one's day in every way possible.
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