· Sometimes, I feel like murdering...
o Baristas who make you repeat your order more than once
o Slow drivers in the left lane (and all bad drivers)
o Reality TV fans who treat reality TV as if it matters
o Facebook and Twitter users who are overly positive
o Faux-hippie urban hipsters
o Guys who say "stoked" or "brah"
o People who type and write in "Internet/chat speak"
o People who go to sporting events but don't care about what's happening in the game
o Referees and umpires who make bad calls
o People who misuse the expressions "That's ironic" and "What a coincidence"
o 99% of retail employees who are unhelpful, lack knowledge about their store and products, and are rude
o People who quote pithy quotes and Bible verses thinking that they're being smart or inspiring
o The majority of Yankees and Red Sox fans
o Extreme political and/or religious ideologues and zealots
o Loud, annoying, and obnoxious children
o People who espouse uneducated opinions with which I vehemently disagree
· Places I never want to visit:
o Florida
o Inhabited towns/cities in Texas
o Alabama
o West Virginia
o Arkansas
o North and South Dakota
o Detroit
o Cleveland
o New Jersey
· Censored embarrassing and horrible thoughts I had, but would never admit to another person:
o _________s really are terrible drivers...and other such stereotypes which are true...
o I wonder what it feels like to ________ a person...
o Why are they still alive? What value do they get from living?
o I wonder how I can steal that and sell it without getting caught...
o I wonder what would happen if I rammed into a tree at about 125mph...
o I'd ___ that.
o I'd ___ that after a few drinks.
o I'd never ___ that regardless of how many drinks I had.
o I wonder who would be the best friend to ask to help me rob ____________.
o There should be an age at which people aren't allowed to ever leave their homes again.
o He/she will have at least a few unplanned children and become drains upon the social welfare net
2 comments:
You speak to my heart, Ben. So many things that I also have thought in many and various times.
The Boring Things will live on...
I should also add "Anyone in front of me in any line - ever" to the 'murder' list.
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