The History Channel Club

For some reason, various organizations have decided that I seem like someone who will send them money or want their business. Why? I don't know. My charitable giving for the last few years has consisted of a few small Kiva loans and a few church donations.

Usually, they attempt to use pre-giving to encourage me to donate by giving me some small thing like a pin, token, or, the most common (and useful, I might add), return address labels. I currently have address labels from Geico (these are the worst ones I have, as they are thick and don't stick very well), Arbor Day Society (these are nice, they feature leaves and other tree-related things), and the March of Dimes (who even sent me a dime, which I kept).

Recently, however, an especially interesting package arrived. For some reason, the History Channel decided that I am a history buff and would want to join the History Channel Club. They sent me not one, not two, not even three, but FOUR gifts. That's right, four. AND if I subscribed to the club, I would also receive FOUR more gifts (which a little scratch-off-for-what-you-will-get area enthusiastically told me).

So, what types of things does the History Channel Club believe potential subscribers would want? A classy raising-the-flag in Iwo Jima window decal, a small dime-sized token that says "History Channel Club" on one side and has a picture of the Liberty Bell and "1776" on the other, a bookmark with the Declaration of Independence on one side and the U.S. presidents on the other... OK, I'm seeing a pattern here. Clearly they're appealing to my fervent nationalism and desire to have a quick reference to the U.S. Presidents while I'm reading.

The fourth gift, however, was the REALLY special one. A magnet with a few of the variations of the U.S. flag throughout the years! What better way to hold Pita Pit coupons on the fridge than with Ol' Glory?

Then I looked at the back of the magnet, and discovered this SHOCKING sticker:

OK, you can't really see it in this picture, but the sticker on the bottom right of the magnet tells me where the magnet was made. And where was this magnetic symbol of American Freedom, Truth, Justice, Freedom, Integrity, and of

course, Freedom (which the terrorists HATE, by the way) made? CHINA.

Naturally, I was not going to stand for this blatant slap in the face to the USA, so I have relegated this shameful piece to the SIDE of the fridge to hold Family Circus cartoons that have been on the fridge since I moved in and which no one will dare claim as their own.

Shame on you, The History Channel, and thank you for the bookmark.