Truck Balls (and why they're stupid)

Here's a trend that perplexes me entirely: putting "balls" on your truck. Like so:

Now, while this is a useful identifier of people that I will never want to have anything to do with, it really doesn't even make sense if you think it through.

They are 3 possible interpretations of truck balls:

1) Your truck has YOUR balls. This is not very flattering to the truck's driver. "But Joe," you say, "What if the driver is a female and the truck actually IS her balls?" To this, I would say, "I have never seen a female driving a truck with balls. Q.E.D."

2) Your truck has balls, but no penis. This hardly seems complimentary to your truck.

3) Your truck IS the penis, in which case (given the size ratio of the truck to the balls), your truck suffers from hypogonadism (i.e. tiny testicles). Ouch. Also not very complimentary to your truck.

In summary... uh..... I don't understand truck balls.

Try it. You can't.

New neighbor: Knock, knock, hey honey can I borrow one egg? 

Me: I don't have any eggs, sorry [truth]

But really, it is impossible to "borrow" an egg anyways, unless you just wanted to hold it for a few seconds or something. 

In which case you're a weirdo and I don't want it back. 

So... yeah... it's impossible to borrow an egg.

Pictured: borrowed egg.

Wal-Mart BB and Airsoft Guns, and a Helpful Employee

So I'm standing in the Wal-Mart sporting goods section, staring blankly at the bb and airsoft guns. A Wal-Mart employee, "Steven", approaches. He looks like he's probably in his early 30's, with a goatee.

STEVEN: Hi, can I help you with anything?
ME: Yes, I was looking to get a BB pistol.
STEVEN: Oh, well this one right here is our best-selling pistol. *points to an airsoft pistol*
ME: No, I need a BB pistol, not an airsoft one. I want it to look real, none of that orange-tip crap.
STEVEN: ;*laughs* Oh, OK, man. Well, this one looks pretty badass. *points to a revolver/Magnum-style BB pistol*
ME: Yeah, but it's kinda big. I need something a little more easily-concealable.
STEVEN: *laughs again, but less hard* OK, well this one is pretty small *points to a smaller BB pistol*
ME: Yeah, that looks good. Does it shoot both BBs AND pellets? I need it to shoot pellets, something that can really hurt someone.
STEVEN: *raises an eyebrow, gives me a "What the hell?!?" look*
ME: *looking shocked* Oh, oh no man I don't mean, like, KILL anybody or anything, just something that will seriously maim.
STEVEN: *seamlessly shifts from concerned look to thinking look. He strokes his goatee* Well... this one here is the only pistol I have that shoots both BBs and pellets... but it's spring-action, only 240 feet per second, that probably won't even break skin... would you like me to see what I can order for you?
ME: No, that's OK. Thanks for your help!
STEVEN: No problem! You let me know if you have any questions about anything else. *Steven walks away*