Beard to Chops

So, in the hope that I will at some point have interviews which will lead to a job, I have converted the beard to chops.

Before:

After:

Better, worse, or no difference?

Tiny Victory

This morning I went to Safeway armed with a $1 off coupon for a 15 ounce tub of butter-like spread. It was urgently needed, as Chris was making waffles this morning.

Upon finding the appropriate aisle, I found that the spread was actually on sale for 99¢. I took it to the cashier, who struggled to figure out what to do about the Free Butter Mystery. She eventually called her manager, who came over and pushed some buttons, rendering my butter free.

Actually, better than free. The cash register told her that because the price was 99¢ and I had handed her a $1 off coupon, that she owed me 1¢. I dutifully took the penny, and returned home triumphantly, bearing both free butter and 1¢.

A grand morning of one-cent Win. The waffles were delicious as well.

"Seinfeld" moment: running on 'E'

Something about having time off for the summer makes me careless about getting gas. I think it's because I drive so seldom I need to fill up so seldom, and when I do drive it's only 10-15 minutes here and there. Thus, I have found myself on 'E' with the gaslight coming on, and I have now had several opportunities to see just how far I can go at this level of fuel without completely running out. I have found that I can go at least 25 miles with this fuel level, and while I'd like to find out the real limit, I am not brave or stupid enough for this.

This reminds me of "Seinfeld" season 9 episode 11 in which Kramer is test driving a car (for Jerry) and he takes the car and the salesperson on a zany ride in which they see how far below 'E' they can take this car.

"Seinfeld" Moments

To this day, "Seinfeld" remains at or near the pinnacle of television irreverence. The show perfectly encapsulated the pointlessness and frustrations and humor of life's daily minutiae, while at the same time making brilliant commentary about American life and how this minutiae means so much and makes up the identity of so many blind and ignorant people.

The show reflects perfectly upon the last 20 years of American day-to-day life. And because of this, my daily life is filled with what I often identify as "Seinfeld" moments. These are moments and events which reflect a moment, joke, or event from the TV show, but exist as a reflection upon a frustratingly stupid and yet funny aspect of ordinary minute-to-minute human existence in modern America.

Example: The neighbor below my apartment has his bathroom fan running almost 24/7. Why? Who knows...But the point it, this is loud and annoying when I want some quiet time or am trying to go to sleep and am extra sensitive to noise. Thus, my mind immediately recalls "Seinfeld" episode season 9, episode 7, in which Elaine's neighbor goes on vacation but their alarm clock continues to go off, so Elaine tries to short out the circuit next door to make the clock stop.

Thus, what I term a "Seinfeld" moment.

So, today begins a new and never-ending series of "Seinfeld" moments from day-to-day life. Sometimes the connection will be strong and relevant and relatable, while other times it will be a personal linkage I have because "Seinfeld" has left such an indelible mark upon the depths of my psyche.

"Seinfeld" moment: tipping the cashier

I went to a burrito shop today for lunch and paid with cash. However, when handing me my change back, the cashier immediately turned around to fix something for the next order. But, as I do at most coffee shops, cafes, and smaller establishments with a tip jar, I try and put a $1 in. But what good is a tip like this if the cashier doesn't SEE you thanking them and rewarding them in this fashion? This is a common grievance I have, and this event is highlighted by George Costanza's similar desire in "Seinfeld" season 7 episode 20 when George buys a calzone and tips the cashier, but the cashier doesn't notice so George pulls out his tip to place it in the jar when someone is looking, and of course this action is rewarded with the accusation of stealing from the tip jar and he is forever banned from the calzone shop.

I am now hungry for a calzone...Oh so many moments of my food-life are connected to "Seinfeld" food references...This is going to be a long, constant, meandering, and most importantly very pointless series on The Boring Things!

Upcoming The Boring Things posts to look forward to:

-"People I want to murder"

-"Places I never want to visit"

-"Stories about objects in my apartment"

-"Embarrassing and horrible thoughts I had, but would never admit to another person"

The Miracle of Overalls

So. Comfortable. The end.

TODAY... 7/1/10 @ 4:45pm

I was stuck in traffic from Northgate all the way down to Tukwila on I-5 south from 3:00 until 4:30, and I had at least another 90 minutes of traffic/driving to get home. So I had the brilliant idea of getting off the highway, seeing a movie, and then driving home.

I paid $13.75 for the movie ticket, and then $12.75 for the soda and popcorn. The movie was excellent. I laughed. I cried. I did not clap (because that's damn foolishness).

Then I left, got back on I-5, and laughed maniacally at the the lack of traffic, thinking I had won. Then I hit more traffic, and it took me over an hour to get home.

AMC theaters, Disney, Coca-Cola, and BP all won. Their rapacious prices, coupled with the state of Washington's lousy freeways and construction projects, ruined the second half of my Thursday.