Adjusting My Expectations for Better Auto-Flushers

One aspect of the move from the University of Nevada at Reno to Central Washington University is adjusting to the differences between the auto-flush toilets.

You see, at UNR, the auto-flushers are quite zealous in their desire to flush your turd/paper/toilet-seat-cover down the hatch. So much so that it was often a balancing act at UNR to get your toilet seat cover set down on the seat and then quickly turn and sit yourself on the seat as well so the overzealous auto-flusher doesn't immediately gobble down your freshly-laid toilet-seat-cover, which would result in having to pull out a fresh one and tear the three little thingys to get it laid down right again.

So, that is the background I come from: get more than 8 inches from the sensor on the UNR auto-flushers and they will happily devour anything you have (or have not) left in the can.

Now I come to CWU's auto-flushers. These guys are truly, almost-unfathomably well-designed automatic turd-disposers. The CWU auto-flushers are happy to wait until you have actually LEFT the stall before politely consuming your deposits. In fact, when I first came into contact with this better-working form of auto-flusher, I thought it didn't work, and pressed the "manual" flush button before I left the stall, only to be greeted by the sound of ANOTHER flush AFTER I left the stall. Be patient with me, CWU auto-flushers, I am just learning to trust you.

TODAY... 9/28/09 @ 1:30pm

I saw an old man pulling a loogey out of his mouth today waiting for the Access bus outside of Fred Meyer. His salivary-mucus discharge was thick, long, and yellow. This scene made me wonder if he knew gypsy magic.

A night of merriment and fantastical journeys

Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile

Joy in a Glass

Ice-cold chocolate milk.

The Vampire Walks the Streets of Ellensburg

So last night I walked ALL over the CWU campus. Everywhere. All over. I walked and walked and walked until I think I was even confused as to which direction my condo was. When I got home I watched some episodes of TV shows (The Office, Community, True Blood, IASI Philly), read some articles for classes, and still wasn't even remotely tired.

18th Ave at the Break of Dawn

Fast forward. It's now 7 AM. So I decide to walk up 18th Ave in a direction I haven't gone before. I feel as if I'm being chased by a massive hoard of CWU ROTC kids in their full short-shorts running get-up.

Joe at the Break of Dawn

I take a certain amount of pleasure in the fact that I am choosing to walk, at my leisure, at this time of morning, and they are not (choosing to run, not at their leisure). But... good for them.

Apparently, cows in Ellensburg receive very little human attention. Other than having a number (stapled?) on their ear, there is no evidence that these cows have ever encountered a human before. Or... they ARE just that stupid. Do you ever feel like EVERYONE is looking at you? Welcome to the world of a curious human in the midst of Ellensburg cows.

Cows on my Left...

Cows on my Right...

Cows finally Clustered Around.

Then on the way home I was amused to see that Regal St and King Pl intersect.

Of course they do! (Coincidentally, so does Queen Pl).

TODAY... 9/24/09 @ 9:40 PM

I thought there were birds chirping outside my window. This seemed improbable since it was already dark. Then I realized it was just my oscillating fan squeaking every time it got to a certain point on the turn.

ANOTHER well-deserved win for Walter White and meth dealers everywhere!

Sounders FC v. Chivas USA 9/19 @ Qwest Field

TODAY... 9/19/09 @ 5:15pm

I went to the Sounders game and saw a very non-boring 0-0 tie, went to a bar to watch another non-boring football match of the American variety as the UW defeated #3 USC, and then now I am bored drinking some good coffee and listening to some good music before what will hopefully be a non-boring Mariner ass-whooping of the Yankees.

Henry Weinard's Summer Ale: "Kölsch Style Beer"

As a fan of things both cheap and delicious, Henry Weinard has always been a good friend of mine. Apparently, if you actually live here in the Northwest, you are privy to a wider variety of his fine (and low-priced) ales and lagers.

Today I am tasting Henry Weinard's Summer Ale: Kölsch Style Beer. I have no idea what that means, but the flavor is light and grainy, with a nice bitter touch of hops. At less than $1 per 12 ounces, it's hard to go wrong with good old Mr. Weinard's Summer Ale.

Mas Pictures of The Condo

The pictures are (in no particular order): the laundry room, the upstairs bathroom, the stairs, the board game table, the computer room, myself in the mirror of the downstairs bathroom, the fat black cat, and the not-as-fat other cat.

TODAY... 9/18/09 @ 9:14 AM

I woke up. I checked my various email accounts. Seeing nothing new, I watched an episode of "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia". Then I went back to sleep.

The New Place

There may be more pictures coming soon of the rest of the condo.

The Door/Stacked Boxes/Cardboard Bookshelf Corner

The Fan/Closet Corner

The Bed Corner

The Desk/Computer Corner

Iron Horse Brewery

Today I sampled some brew from the local Ellensburg brewery, Iron Horse Brewery. It's the "Imperial Loco Red", described on the bottle as "big hoppy red ale." It is indeed "hoppy", and it is also quite delicious. Very smooth, the perfect amount of head (which in my opinion is very little head), and a nice finish.

I'll definitely have to check out some of Iron Horse's other brews.

Ellensburg, WA

So today I arrived in Ellensburg, WA. Upon arrival I called about a room that a married couple had for rent, came and looked at it, liked it, liked them, thought it was a good deal, and moved in.

As my computer scans for WiFi, it picks up between 10 and 15 networks at any given time. Of those, 2-3 are not password-protected. Of those, one comes in strong enough for me to use. Excellent.

So now, for the next step: figuring out my classes at Central Washington U. for the first quarter of grad school. I'll take care of that tomorrow. Right now, I need to do some more unpacking.

TODAY... 9/12/09 @ 9:35pm

I settled in comfortably into my soft, recliner-like movie theater seat prepared to enjoy "Inglorious Basterds." During the previews in the row in front of me a man in his early 20s seated with a woman in her early 20s preceded to editorialize during and after every preview to this woman in a casual conversation tone, loud enough for me to make out most of his stupid comments six seats away. His comments were along the line of "oh this one's really good watch...oh I didn't know he was going to be in that one!...oh sick!!!" and so forth. Then once the movie started and the opening line of the film scrolled across the screen, the man laughed loudly. And he preceded to make little side comments to his girlfriend/date during the quiet but heart-racing opening scene until a character answered another character's important question in a quiet, subtle tone, and because the man in front of me was talking at this point (commenting on the action which took place on screen less than 60 seconds before), I missed this key point of dialogue. And THEN, I hear him say to his female companion "What'd that guy answer? I missed it."

Yes sir, you did indeed miss it, and you caused others to miss it, and I assume your female escort missed it as well while you were jabbering in her ear so why the hell would you waste more time asking her what was said on screen when she obviously missed it as well? Your questioning just annoys your fellow theater goers even more, and prevents you yourself from hearing even more of the film, during which time you could probably listen closely and deduce what was said previously, thus righting the world and allowing your movie going experience to precede uninhibited.

During this experience, I realized that this man is the 20-something equivalent of my high school students who choose to react to classroom events, and make their comments to each other, and then miss the following events/directions because they were spending their consciousness re-living and commenting upon the past 30 seconds, and thus they miss the events of the present. So when they then shout out (stopping me and the rest of the class) "What just happened? What'd you say?" I reply "I'm not stopping the class just because you are a crappy listener and can't focus."

This student may have been asking another student for a pencil or paper. They may have been asking a fellow student the directions for the assignment, which they missed because I wasn't loud enough or perhaps I mumbled. Or, perhaps they legitimately have ADD and really had a hard time focusing and didn't hear my directions clearly. Regardless, it seems that by replying with "You're shit out of luck you missed it, now moving on..."** I'm reinforcing the need to be quiet, attentive, and focused in life at all times, in order that this generation won't become the next generation of douchebag movie talkers.

**This quote is not verbatim, and I'm happy to clarify directions at appropriate times for any and all students.

TODAY... 9/12/09 @ 10am

I fell asleep last night before I could decide what to play on my iPod, and thus I woke up incredibly disappointed, because invariably I would have found something excellent to listen to.

TODAY... 9/10/09 @ 2:32 AM

I discovered that my car can carry a TON of stuff. Also, when the only drink available is lemonade, drink lemonade!

(I am sitting out in the dark by the pool, where I can still pick up the internet signal from Gardner's house).

TODAY... 9/8/09 @ 4:30pm

I went to Wal*Mart against my best judgment. It was the clusterfrack I expected, and then some. My trip ended with me holding up the line, arguing over the price of a 24 pack of Diet Mountain Dew. I won. So then, I was moved to another line where I held up this other line while the cashier figured out how she could best the computer into giving me my "refund." I finally got my cash back - all $1.09 of it.

Get Involved! Yeah!

Apparently, when people waste time on Facebook, they like to think that even in their timewastingness, they are "making a difference" by "joining" causes. I have been invited to partake in many a "cause" on Facebook, and I almost always decline. Even if it is a "cause" that I think would be beneficial to the world, I will STILL usually decline.

By gathering members, you are not changing the world. You are not making a difference. I found these lovely stats on a recent "cause" I was invited to join. 478,557 individuals were willing to JOIN THE CAUSE! AND.... because this is a cause that needs money, Facebook allows you to conveniently donate as well! And how much can 478,557 people raise? $345! That's right! No, not 345 thousand dollars, but three hundred and forty-five dollars!

That means EVERY INDIVIDUAL cares enough to donate over SEVEN TEN-THOUSANDTHS of a PENNY!

Now THAT's what I call caring.

TODAY... 9/5/09 @ 3:30pm

I made the epic 3 minute drive to my local KFC and purchased a 6-piece bucket of crispy chicken. I put the chicken in the oven covered in Frank's Red Hot sauce and enjoyed these "homemade" hot wings while watching the Cougars lose to Stanford, with some ranch and celery on the side. I used at least 40 napkins, downed 2 Diet Mountain Dews, and used about 1/2 cup of ranch over the course of 20 minutes in order to stave off the burning effect of Frank's Red Hot sauce.

TODAY... 9/3/09 @ 12:15pm

Lunch was provided by the school for our meeting today, and they bought pizza and breadsticks, and they provided soda for drinks. After I ate, I took 4 pieces of pizza and a soda, walked past everyone, and went up to my room to store these free treats in my fridge in my classroom to take home for dinner tonight. This bit of open subterfuge was the most exciting part of my day.

TODAY... 9/1/09 @ 9:27 PM

Brian continually asked the lady running the Taco Bell drive-thru for a "crunchy soft taco", not understanding why she kept saying, "Wait... did you want a crunchy or soft taco?"

Finally, I told him, "Brian, you keep saying 'crunchy soft taco'... which one do you want?"

Then he understood, and I realized that this was not really an interesting story.

TODAY... 9/1/09 @ 10:15am

I was trying to focus on the speaker in an extremely boring meeting, and the guy next to me was whispering to me to engage in conversation. I welcomed the distraction, until I realized this man was more boring than the meeting itself.